$ whoami
hpmine42

$ cat about.txt
Developer.
I write software, then I read it, then I apologize to it.
Most of my bugs are features that haven't been documented yet.

$ git status
On branch main
nothing to commit, working tree clean
(4 uncommitted crises)

enough.
A minimalist private messenger focused on simplicity, privacy and meaningful conversations.
_{No tracking, no ads, no "we've updated our privacy policy" emails. Revolutionary, I know.}

_{(The bare essentials, plus whatever the current side project demands. Occasionally I ask an AI for help - but I do read the answer.)}

• There are two hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.
• "It works on my machine" is a valid deployment strategy — if you ship the machine. The cloud is just someone else's computer anyway.
• 0-indexing is correct. Everything else is a rounding error.
• I'm not afraid of undefined. I'm afraid of undefined that only appears on Fridays at 16:55.
• My most reliable code reviewer is a rubber duck. Approval rate: 100 %. Comments: 0.
• Premature optimization is the root of all evil — except for that one console.log I left in production. That one is load-bearing.
• I had a problem, so I used regex. Now I have two problems, and one of them is catastrophic backtracking.
• Dark mode, because light attracts bugs.
• If the tests pass on the first try, be suspicious. Something is simply not being tested.
• Comments are for the next developer. I write them for the version of me that exists 6 months from now, who is technically a different person and definitely hates me.
• git commit -m "final" is not a message. It's a historical document of optimism.
• Legacy code is code written by someone who knew exactly what they were doing, six months ago, and that someone was me.

_{The only snake I'm not afraid of. It runs on a cron job at 00:00 UTC, which is the most reliable code I own.}

Open to collaborations, code reviews, and arguments about semicolons.
Best reached by email — response time follows an exponential distribution.